It Doesn't Matter if You Win or Lose
It's how you play the game, right? Well, I have been struggling to teach Princess about sportsmanship because to her it does matter if she loses. She does not like losing. We play a lot of games-- Memory, Go Fish, Uno, Hi Ho Cherry-O, Pretty Pretty Princess, etc., and Princess feels like she has to win every time, or get her way every time, and if she doesn't, "it's not fair!" Today, while playing Memory, a game Princess is pretty good at, I happened to find both Sleeping Beauties. It was actually an accident that I found both of them, because I try to avoid matching up the ones she likes to get, and Sleeping Beauty is her favorite. She automatically got a scowl on her face and declared she was not playing anymore, because she wanted to get that match and I got it. She said she was going to mess up all the memory cards. I tried to cajole her into playing again, but when she wouldn't, I just finished up the game myself, by finding the rest of the matches while she sat there with her arms crossed and an angry look on her face. She said, "I'm NOT happy about that," and we thus commenced for about the fiftieth time the lesson on sportsmanship. This is basically what I tell her: that it's fun to play with someone who is happy for you if you win; If you're mad when I win, I won't want to play with you again. I ended up confiscating the Memory Game today because she said she wasn't going to be happy, and so I told her that we weren't going to be able to play any more games today. This makes her cry and then she goes into the bathroom to cry to see how pitiful she can make herself look in the mirror. Lately, a lot of unsavory behaviors have starting cropping up with Princess, (like the sportsmanship thing, and the pouting, and the dramatic, mostly fake crying) and I can't help but wonder if it's because she has a feeling she's about to be dethroned as Numero Uno in the HappyFamily and is acting out in these ways to vent. So, I don't know if I'm doing the right thing with Princess and this sportsmanship issue, but for now, we won't be playing Memory anytime soon.
5 comments:
you're better than me because we are yet to really push the sportsmanship issue with elle. however with soccer season approaching, maybe we'll have to go there. i like that aubrey goes into the bathroom and watches herself cry. that is so great! don't you just love all of these fun phases kids go through. i sometimes think elle is like jekyll and hyde. i want to say "elle, come back. i know the real nice fun elle is in there somewhere!" when she is throwing a fit.
I know! That's really it-- she can be so sweet at times and then she turns around and freaks out like this. I guess dealing with behavioral problems that are annoying is just part of parenting.
I'm always glad to hear that others are going through the same things as we are. Ethan has a really hard time losing as well. I wonder if I am doing the right thing when I sometimes let him win so I don't have to hear him cry. At some point he has to learn that you don't get to win evertime. The times I try to teach that, he is so upset that he won't even listen. Let me know if you come up with any great ideas on how to deal with it. He even cries if Emily gets to the door before him or if someone gets up the stairs faster. We could really be in trouble here!
hahaha, i love aubrey.
because of our multiple numbers of game players in the family, I can't just let someone win. We've implented the "Good Job _____" at the end of the game or it gets put away. Still, lots of times, the game gets put away. Girls are just so dramatic. (Did any of that make sense.)
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