Mama needs to go back to First Grade, too

Now that it's August, I am starting to get back into school mode and want to refresh Aubrey's memory on some school subjects. She's very confident in her reading skills, and I wonder if by accident, we minimized the importance of the other subjects. Since I was never particulary good at math, this is one I am hitting hard for her. I was browsing the internet to find some printable math worksheets for first grade. I found one, designated for first grade, which, I am sorry to say, was too complicated for me at first glance. At the risk of embarrassing myself, here are some of the questions. (Feel free to take this little quiz yourself, but don't look at me to give you the right answers...)

Math Who Am I? Worksheet
Read the description of the math term below. Try to guess what it is. Then circle the third letter of the word in the box to the right.

1. I am a numeral that means nothing. I am a ?
2. I am used to measure capacity. When there are 8 of me, I make a gallon. I am a ?
3. I am a closed curved line. Every point on me in the same distance from my center. I am a ?
4. I am a table that shows the day, week, month and year. I am a ?
5. I am a polygon with three sides and three angles. I am a ?
6. You will always find me when you subtract two numbers. I am the ?
7. I am the place where two lines or surfaces meet. I am a ?
8. I am a shape made up of four straight sides and four right angles. I am a ?

Honestly when I see words like "polygon" I just start to zone out. Has my brain really turned to mush? You know how it's true how pregnant women lose brain cells? Well, I think I lost more than my fair share, and didn't ever get them back! How in the world did I ever graduate from college when I still find it a struggle to add or subtract more than just single digits in my head, much less know what a polygon is. It's a good thing Chad is a gifted mathmetician, because it appears this is the grade in which Aubrey surpasses me in math knowledge.

Now give me a worksheet like this, and I'd pass with flying colors:

Math Who am I Worksheet, the Stay At Home Mommy version:

1. I am the number of piles of laundry in your house. I am ?
2. You will always find me, dirty, in the sink. I am ?
3. This is the number of diapers you change every day. I am ?
4. When your daughter cries about having to use the Cars toothpaste instead of the Barbie toothpaste, how many crocodile tears have been shed before her teeth are clean. I am ?
5. After the fifth sibling fight of the day, this is how many hairs you pull out of your head. I am ?
6. This is a room in your house with four walls, also known as the privy, that you hide in for five minutes peace. I am the ?
7. If your son throws 20 raisins on the floor, and then throws his 25 piece fruit cup across the room, how many food particles have just been wasted? (Bonus Question: how many minutes will it take to clean it all up?)
8. This is the number of times you call your husband to ask when he is coming home. I am ?
9. This is the number of minutes until nap time:
10. This is the number of times you have said "get your finger out of your nose". I am ?
11. This is the number of toys strewn about your house (feel free to use triple digits here). I am a ?
12. This is the number of books you have read to your children today:
13. This is the number of times you have laughed your head off at something your kids have said:
14. This is the number of little people in your house that, although they sometimes drive you nuts, you love them like crazy anyway. I am ?

That's first grade math for the real world.