How I Never Intended to Flash Everyone At Kroger, But Did

Please don't call the cops. It wasn't my fault, I promise. And I publicly apologize to everyone standing at the dairy case of Kroger at about 12 p.m. this afternoon when I unwittingly gave everyone there an unobstructed view of my, ahem, bosom. If we're both lucky, you missed the show, since there is so little to see.

Here is the equation for Kristin's peep show disaster:

1 angry three year old who doesn't want to be grocery shopping, much less in the shopping cart he's in + 1 mom wearing a really cute top which unfortunately has a 100% elastic neckline= 1 indecent (Not to mention embarrassing!) exposure. Mine.

There I was, standing calmly in front of the Sargento cheese, thinking deeply about the merits of Swiss versus Provolone, when my tantrum throwing son decided to pull out all the stops. I had been trying to ignore him. ("Whose kid IS that? Not mine! Sheesh!") He started grabbing at my top, which at first was no big deal. Until he decided to yank on it. And that's when the front neckline got pulled down to my waist. It was still around my neck in the back, but anybody who was in the dairy section, or down by frozen foods (the direction I was facing at the time) got a nice view of what lies beneath. And of course today was like the only day in the history of my life where I wasn't wearing an undershirt. Mercifully, elastic is stretchy and I yanked it back in place just as quickly with as much dignity as I could muster. I bet that little rascally Andrew was just waiting for me to wave the white flag and take him home. But we finished the shopping trip, flushed cheeks and all. I just tried to avoid the eye of anyone who might have been in the dairy section. I'm not sure I'll ever think about sliced cheese the same way again.