Fabulous Four

I have come to realize that four is a wonderful age. Princess is the greatest! From her saying prayers and asking, "please bless us to be cute!" to playing restaurant where she sells cheeseburgers for "fifty-five eighty-nine," (you KNOW they had to be pretty dang good cheeseburgers for that price!) I end up grinning most of the day long. She loves to play. She doesn't care what we play, but I am lucky to be her favorite playmate. And she is mine. Ponies, Princesses, Dolls, Dress Up, it doesn't matter, but when she comes to me and asks, "mommy do you want to play with me?" I look at her and I can't deny her... putting aside the laundry and dishes to take part in the simple pleasure of being a child again. Since she's four, I think I have made higher expectations for her, and put a little bit more pressure on her to be independent in preparation for our baby, and also expected her to understand when we have to make adjustments in our play... like her being willing to play board games on the bed while I lay down (and partially fall asleep, but it's okay because she likes to take my turn for me anyway), and asking me "what can I take in from the car? I can be helpful!" when she knows we have a lot of groceries. And she allows me to be clumsy in my pregnant ways (ie, like when I spill a potted plant all over the carpet, dirt and all), and having her assure me, "don't worry mommy, it was just an accident!" And her being the calm one... "why are you frustrated mommy?" And understanding that some things change when mommies are having babies, like when we are reading stories in the recliner-- we usually sit side by side, but we are both getting too big to do that anymore (mostly me), and Princess realizing that and tactfully saying, "I think I better sit on your lap," and crawling on to the limited space that exists there. She helps us see happiness in simple things-- she celebrates the little victories in her own life, like squirting the toothpaste out herself, and going for a week without having an accident at night. I am so proud of her for being so grown up, and yet I wish she would stay my little one forever. I don't know why I reminisce about her this way, maybe it's because I know our mommy/princess alone time is drawing to a close, with the baby coming, but I know that I love her more and more every day when she is so ready to accommodate me and accept me and my parenting skills for what they're worth, and also love me in spite of myself. Four is a great age and though I know she is growing up, I can still look at her face and see the same features that I loved in her as a newborn. Sometimes I wish I could freeze time and live in her four year old world forever- so carefree, honest, and real. It's so satisfying to be loved by someone without pretense, so refreshing to see life through her eyes. I guess I just want Princess to know that although I didn't expect to have four good years alone with her, she has brought so much joy into our lives and I love her more than ever now that she is going to be a big sister.