Aw, Man!

So, I went to the doc yesterday. I have been highly encouraged by his previous reports, now that he is routinely "checking my progress." Two weeks ago, I was dilated to a one. Two weeks ago, I was dilated to a two. I was cautiously optimistic that I might be a three this time. It sort of became a goal of mine... dilate once cm a week by whatever means necessary. I figured, "hey, if I can dilate like this, without even knowing, feeling pain, etc., then this is the way to go." Add to that the fact that I was contracting on Saturday about 15 minutes apart for two hours or so, and I was feeling pretty confident that I might actually meet my goal of a three. Well, when I went in and they couldn't even get a good read on the baby's heartbeat, I should have known that it was not going to be a good appointment. His heart was beating yes, but he was moving around so much they couldn't tell me how fast it was going. That wasn't a big concern to me, because that has happened before... this lively little boy just won't hold still. He kicks the doppler off in fact. But then the doc came in and he had forgotten to document that he said I WAS at a two last week. When he did the "check" it took forever because he couldn't even feel anything! (He told me he felt the baby's head two weeks ago!) He was digging around in there I was like, "do you think you could stop now?" I mean, if he couldn't feel anything, no need to prolong the agony, right? To add salt to the wound, while he was digging he said, "I told you you were at a two last week?" So, that pretty much squelched my hoped of being at a three, and in the end, he said to me he'd give me one cm for sure, MAYBE two. It's so not fair to have him retract like that! To even further dim the light at the end of the tunnel, he told me if the baby stayed so high like that, he wouldn't be able to strip my membranes like we had previously talked about. When he asked me, "so how long did you want to go overdue?" I knew it was all over. Despite these bleak reports, I actually am not feeling too discouraged! (Really!) I have been blessed to still feel really comfortable and we had a really fun day at the zoo yesterday and I was glad that I still probably had time to do that again and do fun things with Princess before the baby comes. Not to mention I have many projects that need my attention around here, most notably, The Blanket (which I'm sure will become a blog post of its own someday). And, we FINALLY got our preschool information today and it looks like there's a gap of time that IF I did go overdue, would work out perfectly for preschool. So, even though I'm not one more cm dilated and I'm actually, two cm LESS dilated than I hoped, I think things are going to work out just fine. Now if I can just go find a trampoline to go jump on...