Coach, the Clothes Horse
There is something fundamentally wrong here. I risk showing showing you pictures of our messy closet just so you can see the disparity that exists there. You see, I am married to a clothes horse, and yes, this is HappyMom speaking about Coach, not the other way around. This is his side of the closet:
And this is mine:
There is no contest about whoh has more clothes in this family. It's Coach, hands down. And he gets them all from Willow Wood Junior High. I never knew what kind of perks you receive as a coach until Coach became one. It's the running joke in the family, to see what article of clothing Coach brings home in his bag next, because, he has more Willow Wood paraphenalia in our closet than I ever dreamed possible. Today, he brought home a complete Nike warm up suit, his newest clothing item. "Don't look at the price tag," he said, but I did anyway, and just for the pants and jacket, $105. And even though the Athletics Department pays for these things, there's something about Coach getting loads of clothes, FREE, that really gets to me. I'M the one who should be getting lots of clothes. So, just for fun, I counted his clothes, because, after this warm up suit, which is his second complete one, by the way, I decided it was time for a little inventory check. I wanted to show him how ridiculous this was. I thought I'd share my findings. Aside from these two complete warm up suits, he has 19 t-shirts and polos, 14 Under Armor and Dry Wick shirts (both polos and regular shirts), 4 pullovers and sweatshirts, 6 practice shorts (and Coach informed me there were two more on order), and four pairs of shoes, all of these things have various Willow Wood logos and insignias on them, and all were given to him because of his status as a coach. Mind you, these are just the things I can count in his closet. He doesn't attempt to argue with me, because I think, deep down, ole Coach knows this is excessive. In fact, when I told him I was going to blog about this, and I was counting, he made sure I counted everything, saying things like, "oh, did you check the hall closet?" and "don't forget I have two of those at school" lest I miscount and don't give him credit for his ownership of excessive clothing. I think he enjoys the attention. But it got me thinking... I think I need to go out and increase my wardrobe as part of my job description. I won't have to justify it, I'll just smile like he does, that guilty smile that gives him away: loving the clothes, loving that they're free, and knowing they're excessive, but indulging anyway. I don't hardly blame him. So, Coach, you go ahead and wear your new Nike windsuit on Windsuit Wednesday at Willow Wood. If I'm not here when you get back, I'm out shopping.
8 comments:
Yep, you definitely need to be shopping. That's just wrong. And all for free too- I'm gonna be a coach!
BTW- Kohl's is having a GREAT sale on shirts! I bought 8 today for just under $50! :)
Have fun shopping!
maybe chad could tell them he's a size small and bring you home some good stuff. it just might work. you never know.
no! don't buy into it! you should be happy with your small number of clothes, they really are probably all you NEED. Just remember all those people around the world, with only one pair of paints, shoes, etc. and remember that America's mass consumerism is only lending to their poverty. Ok...now that I'm off my high horse, you just wait for a blog that I'll probably be putting up tomorrow about my new job, because it's equally, if not more, ridiculous than Chad's...p.s. I support you going purchasing a few quality items for your wardrobe, but please don't go buy things because they're cheap. This is one of the worst things we do as Americans I think - thoughtless shopping.
p.s. but I'll still love you even if you do go buy several things that you really don't need. I guess I really should have saved some of my wardrobe for your perusal. ooops. maybe you should WOW Chad by buying a $200 dress from the boutique I work at now...that'll show him...
Chad's #2 Blog Comment in his entire life:
Just for the record...I do get Kristin a new WWJH Basketball shirt every year. So, she has 3 BBall t-shirts and at least 1 Football t-shirt. I will admit that I have more t-shirts than the average Joe (unless you're Joe Montana, but then I guess you wouldn't be average), but they are all part of my uniform. If you work at McDonald's, you wear McD's shirts. If you work at
Kroger, you wear a Kroger shirt. It's the same concept for me. They are all part of my coaching uniform. I just happen to have a collection of them from the past 4 years, or so. Since I coach Football and Basketball I get new ones each year for both sports. AND, to clarify...the first windsuit I received was for BBall and is now 3 years old. The new windsuit I just received is for FBall next year.
Also, to give a little insight on the pictures that are posted...Kristin just "happened" to only capture the left side of her clothing rack in her picture. So, it is a little misleading in my opinion. You also may notice the bottom rack of clothes beneath mine...yep, those are her's too. I won't even mention the big chest of drawer full of clothes she has (oops.) I just happen to hang the vast majority of my clothes up in the closet, so it naturally appears that I have more than her.
Plus, I am pretty much a gazillion times bigger than she is, so my clothes automatically seem like they are larger in quantity due to their size.
By the way, about a year ago Kristin was giving me such a hard time about the number of shoes I had, and how I had WAY more shoes than she did, so I set out to prove her wrond and took all of our shoes out and paired them up and laid them side by side. Of course, mine are bigger so they took up a lot more room than hers and I appeared to have more than her. As to who actually had MORE pairs of shoes...I'll let you ask Kristin exactly how many more pairs of shoes she owns than I do. :) I would even be willing to take the challenge again with clothing this time, and am quite confident that I'd win again!
Sorry, dear, just had to offer the other side of the story. :)
p.s. To clarify the shoe issue...I do have a lot of shoes, BUT, I've had some of these shoes since high school/college, and each pair serves a unique purpose. I like to play a variety of sports, go to church, etc. I can't wear football cleats on a basketball court, nor can I wear dress shoes to coach on the football field. Sandals shouldn't be worn to church services (in my opinion, of course) and tennis shoes just don't work as well as swimming socks when you are in the water. As for the 4 pairs of football coaching cleats (and the t-shirts, too), let's just say they take a major beating after spending 3 or 4 straight months outside in the dirt, rain, mud, etc. I use the oldest ones when it's rainy and muddy outside, and the newest ones for games (that aren't rainy and muddy). The others I use when it's practice and nice weather. I think you get the point, wheter you agree with it or not.
I just don't want y'all Bloggers to think I am a worldly clothing person. I wanted to have a fair trial.
I rest my case.
Any time you want some one to shop with I'm there.... the bad thing about buying one really expensive item instead of a few cheaper ones is that you may feel a dissatisfaction over wearing the same thing again and again and may feel out of style before you want to/can afford to buy a new expensive item and you may be reluctant to give it away to charity when the time comes because you spent so much on it.... just a thought. You always look cute by the way. And I love the alliteration at the end of the blog.
To clarify Chad's clarification, the drawers I have are full of pajamas and unmentionables unsuitable to wear on a daily basis, as is the right half of my side of the closet (dresses and skirts for church, a muumuu, bridesmaid dresses, etc.) the lower half of that one bar IS mine, but it's Winter Clothes, so not suitable for most of the year. The clothes pictured on Chads side of the closet ARE clothes that he does wear on a daily basis, or could (He has dress shirts and slacks, but he can and does wear those to school as well as church). And he too has a dresser full of clothes. And as far as that shoe issue is concerned, I had more by only one pair. To his credit though, he does bring me home one shirt every year, and he gives me first pick among all the lost and found items of the junior high locker room at the end of the year (alas, wearing stinky seventh and eighth grade girl clothes is not only uncomfortable, but probably makes me look like a teen wannabe.) So there, Chad. :)
Cross-Examination:
I'd still be happy to put it to the test. Numbers don't lie. I'm even willing to make a friendly wager...when I win I get to enjoy a night out at Fogo de Chao. For the sake of making the wager official, we'll say that if you would have won you could have gone to a spa and enjoy whatever it is that they do at a spa.
By the way, if you don't wear your unmentionables on a daily basis, what do you wear???
:)
Love ya dear,
Coach
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