This Seven Year Old Birthday is hard for me
Aubs really likes the song "Teardrops on My Guitar." Somehow we ended up with a Kidzbop CD from a Happy Meal I think, and everytime we get in the car, she asks for the song. This has prompted questions from her about what the song is about. I hope I don't get struck by lightning because I told her the song was about a girl who was really sad because she wanted a dog... and that her friend had the one she wanted. A very interesting intrepretation, I know. Funny, huh. I just really wish she hadn't heard the song in the first place, because I don't need to discuss relationships gone wrong with her. I think we may go out to the car one day and find that the CD somehow got broken in half. Oh no. How sad.
I'm guess I'm really not interested in Aubrey growing up faster than she needs to. In recognizing that she is almost seven, and that the past seven years have gone by really fast and in another seven years she will be fourteen, it scares me. She'll grow up fast enough, I say. I don't need to rush her into listening to that kind of music because, not that it's necessarily bad, but I fear she will want to sooner on her own than I am ready for. I will play dolls and Barbies with her for as many years as she wants, because before long, they will be packed away. Some people might balk at the fact I only grudgingly allowed her to watch High School Musical (and just once), and that she's never even seen Hannah Montana. (We actually had to discuss who she was last week when I dressed up like her). These two seem to be front and center on her fellow soon-to-be second graders' radar. And I'm glad she has so little a concept of what they're all about. I don't rush to dress her trendy or adult-like, or take her to see movies with teenager or adult themes, because there's no need. I see her growing up so fast as it is. She is getting taller, and leaner and her face shape is changing. She's no longer the little girl she once was. And it's not just that. She is getting so smart, and she can reason problems out. She is gaining more emotional maturity-- she truly cares about others feelings, especially her brother's. She's not as dependent on me as she used to be. She's funny and sweet and such a good girl. She tries so hard to please and she does.
Time passes by too fast and I want to hold it back. It's heartbreaking in a way to know I can't. And it causes me to cherish every day, and reflect every night if I've done a good job as a mother for that day. I want to be my best for Aubrey, every day, because all too soon, she will be gone and I will wonder where the time went. Because I already do wonder. What a blessing it is for me to be a mother and to watch my children grow, and yet how heartbreaking. I don't know why Aubrey finishing first grade or turning seven is so hard for me to accept, but I am all too cognizant of the passage of time and my inability to stop it. I rejoice with Aubrey as she grows and learns and becomes her own person. It is a joy to watch and be a part of. I love her more with each passing year. But part of me will always be just a teeny bit sad that she is growing up.
17 comments:
I should be sleeping for real. Matt is out of town so here I am up until I get too tired to stay up.
I am so with you on kids growing up too fast. It's so bitter sweet. I find myself wanting to chase them around with a video camera to capture all the moments that I don't want to forget. Of course that's impossible but I just want to remember all the cute expressions, funny sayings and capture those moments in time.
kissy this made me cry. I think i should have called you recently because I cried myself to sleep the other night after I put away most of Evie's newborn clothes. There was like no consoling me, I'm so heartbroken (that's the right word), that she turns three months old today! So I can't imagine how you feel. So happy to watch them grow, but so sad at the same time. And I think that's great that she doesn't know who Hannah Montana is! Love you kissy!
Great post, Kristin. For what it's worth, I think it is GREAT that you are keeping her young. I heard a really interesting talk at BYU once. The speaker pointed to the lack of information about the Savior's childhood and posited that this might be because Joseph and Mary had basically let him be a child--the words he used were that Jesus had a "protected and protracted childhood." I've always found that quite compelling. Anyway, good job! Fight the fight.
And, who knows--Teardrops on My Guitar could be about a girl and a dog, right?
I'm so proud of the way you are raising Aubby in a wonderfully age-appropriate childhood. Too many kids these days are denied that blessing, and oh the problems that lie ahead...
--Linda
seven is really starting to be old- that is why! i swear when they were little it felt like the days were never ending, and now here we are almost baptism age. how on earth did that happen! also, i have had to explain the show wicked to my kids about a million times. it is fun to try and edit what the actual songs mean. i completely understand.
I remember being seven and in second grade, and I certainly thought I was smart. We had a great 2nd grade teacher last year, her name was Mrs. Deprisco. I don't know many of the other teachers; I wonder who Jacob will get too?
You are an awesome mom! I was pretty sentimental when Macey was seven -- maybe it was because I knew she was fast approaching the age of accountability and I hadn't succeeded in making her perfect yet. Ha! :) I think it's good that you aren't pushing Aubrey to grow up too fast. I love the explanation of the song too -- I will have to use the dog thing too. That was brilliant!
Kissy, I loved this. I got teary eyed reading it because I feel such a connection with my nieces and nephew and I feel like they really are my children as well in a lot of ways. I think of when you guys lived at the house with her and she was so little and cute, and it also makes me wonder where the time has gone. I'm so glad you are keeping her young. She will look back and be able to laugh and be happy that she still wore t-shirt dresses or things like that at age 7, and she will have her head on straight when it comes to her own priorities. Keep up the good mommy work =) I hope I'm as good of a mother as all of my sisters some day.
AMEN! My feelings exactly...I can't believe our little girls will be 7. It seems like just yesterday we were watching them crawling around and eating dirt when we were camping almost 6 years ago.... time really does fly. Can't wait to see you guys in a few weeks :)
Cute little Aubs! I'm a little sad she's growing up too... :(
Welcome to the club my dear sweet daughter, I don't know how many journal entries I have over the past 29 or so years that reflect the exact same conflicting emotions. Isn't it wonderful to have a job you love so much?
I think there is a song that says--"Time flies on wings of angels, we cannot call it back." How true that is! You are a great mother and doing an outstanding job. What a blessing it is to be able to be home each day and be such an important part of Aubrey and Andrew's lives. Love you!
I want my little gift from heaven to stay little as long as possible too. So many kids these days get robbed of childhood way to early. You are doing such a good job of letting her have the absolute best childhood. She is a reflection of you and your mother. Good work.
Dear Old Dad
I am totally with you. Clark and I were talking last night about something when we realized that we only have Haley really for another 10 years!! That is nothing. I also share a disdain for that blasted Kidzbop CD collection. I introduced the girls to the finer tunes of The Bangles a couple of months ago...you know, Walk Like An Egyptian and Manic Monday. Except the only part from Manic Monday that they like to repeat is "he tells me in his bedroom voice, come on honey, let's go make some noise." Nice. What have I done? We have had a couple of talks about that one.
But I am with you, I am in no hurry for these girls to grow up.
Oh, I hear you sister. I was talking to Jeff about Heidi starting preschool in the fall, and I said, "It's the beginning of the end." He looked at me and said, "No it's not. It's just the beginning!" And, we were both right. It's hard to balance the excitement of them growing and learning and discovering with the heartbreak of growing up. What's a mommy to do?
You have a 7-year-old!!! That is so crazy and makes me feel so old... :)
The time really is flying by and they do grow up so fast.
man i cant believe she will be 7!! I think she will always be like 4 to me!!
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