Honey, does this Jumbotron make me look fat?: Date night with Chad and Kristin

Chad: "so, what do you think about going to an Aeros hockey game tonight?"
Kristin: "sounds fun... we've never done that before, good idea!"

As it turns out, Chad got hockey fever when he watched the U.S. hockey team play Canada in the Olympics. So, the first chance he got, he found tickets through a friend to go see the Houston Aeros play in the Toyota Center downtown. The two tickets were Player's tickets, so we were hoping they were good. We were hoping we got front row, right behind the glass, where we could follow the action up close and maybe even beat on the glass (something we learned was legit and showed team pride after watching the Olympics). When we showed up to Section 124 and found they were not front row tickets, but last row of the front section right in the center two seats, we were still excited because we'd never gone to a hockey game before, and felt like we were still close enough to get in on the action of the game. Little did we know we'd see plenty of action right from where we were sitting.

Our first indication of this was even before the game started when a choir filed down the steps and lined up about five rows below us and the announcer said, "Please direct your attention to Section 124 for the National Anthem," The arena darkened and the spotlight came on. The giant Jumbotron TVs hanging from above showed the choir singing, and if you squinted just right, in the dark above the choir, you could see the row where we were sitting, but you couldn't see us. We didn't think much of it, and the game started. It was a fast paced game, and time went by quickly. As it turned out, the Aeros cheerleaders, the Aerodynamics, (heh, clever) were sitting and cheering in the platform directly behind our row, and we could hear their conversations and the swish swish of the pom poms and the rhythmic stamping of their feet in unison throughout the game. Sometimes the announcer would direct our attention the "The Twins," who were smiley, very identical black twin sister cheerleaders always found next to each other. Soon it was the first intermission.

Chad: "I wonder what those marimbas are doing on that platform right behind us?"
Kristin: "Hmmm, I don't know... the cheerleaders are gone... maybe a band is storing them there till they play later."

It was still the intermission, and shortly thereafter, another choir filed down the steps and lined up in the same row as the first. Also, a bunch of kids wearing green "Johnson Elementary School" polos came and sat in the seats starting directly to the right of me, and the row in front of us several seats past Chad, and also, above us on the platform. They had excited looks on their faces, and the ones directly next to me and below us had wooden paint stirrer sticks in each hand, which they occasionally hit them together and cheered with.

Kristin: (whispered) "Look how cute... these kids have noise makers for the game. Look how excited they are!"
Chad: "yeah, that's fun. I wonder if they have anything to do with the marimbas."

Before I could respond, the announcer once again directed everyone's attention to our section, section 124 for the choir, and once again, the lights dimmed and the spotlgihts came on. The choir sang.

Kristin: (alarmed from Chad's last comment, realizing they weren't just here to watch the game, and that their paint stirrers weren't just noisemakers, but instruments) "what??? They're coming to play right next to us? We can't stay here! We've got to move!!!"

About one second after the choir finished, a man who looked like a band director came down and told all the kids clad in green polos, "okay, get ready! get ready! sit up straight!" To us he said, "you're about to be on TV!"

The announcer: Please direct your attention to the top of section 124 for the Johnson Elemtary School band!!!!

The lights dimmed again, the spotlight came on, and the director began. "A one and a two and GO!" The children behind us hit the marimbas and the children beside us and in front hit their paint stirrers together in time to the director's beat.

The camera panned slowly across the faces of the excited children of Johnson Elementary school in the back row. As the camera panned across the last child's face, a chubby black boy with a lot of enthusiasm with his paint stirrers, they panned across the embarrassed faces of a young woman and her husband who had a deer in the headlights look about them. Us!!!! For we unintentionally ended up grouped in with the elementary school band but lacked the instruments and young age to actually fit in. And for that reason, the announcer could have prefaced this performance as "The Johnson Elementary School Band the The Two Schmucks Who Happened to Be Seated Beside Them" (Because that's how I felt! And probably the other fans were bewildered... "who are those two people right there? Why are they sitting there? Why didn't they move?") And because we didn't move before the commencement of the performance, we then tried to observe decorum, and did not exit our row during the performance. That would have been very rude, you know. I, especially, fidgeted anxiously in my seat while trying to look natural and pleasant while in actuality feeling very awkward. Once or twice I glanced quickly up to the Jumbotron to verify that, yes, I was on it, the camera was still panning across the faces of everyone in the last two rows, and no, I still most definitely did NOT belong there, hard as I tried to portray the opposite-- I couldn't have even passed for a parent of a student, as most of them were of various ethnicities not including white. Being as still as possible, so as not to draw even more undue attention to ourselves, we waited for the Johnson Elementary School band to finish. After what seemed like an hour but was probably only a minute, the director gave the cut-off and the band was done. They received rousing applause. Then they got up and filed out.

Kristin: (face still flushed from embarrassment from being at the wrong place at the wrong time): "Oh. My. Gosh! That was SO embarrassing! Can you believe that happened???? We should have moved!"
Chad: Well, there's no doubt we were definitely on the Jumbotron for most of the performance, sometimes up close!"
Kristin: "That was really embarrassing. But you were right... they had everything to do with the marimbas."

And lest you think that was all, there was yet another band that coalesced on our row, on the other side this time, to play something else. AND there was a prom invite put on over the loudspeaker and a marriage proposal, but fortunately neither one was near us. This Aeros game had a lot going on. And we were in the thick of it, no doubt.

The game continued but I couldn't get over that little spectacle we created during the intermission. We laughed and laughed over it albeit sheepishly. I don't have issues with being on the giant screens-- that's totally fun-- But I'd rather it had been while cheering for the Aeros, instead of looking very suspiciously out of place next to the band.

Why this occurred is a mystery to me-- we would have gladly moved if we had known when they were going to play, but no one asked-- But it fit in perfectly for the game we went to because, even after watching that whole game, which was 3 hours long, hockey remains a mystery to me. I think it remains a mystery to Chad as well, even though sometimes he would shout out, "Triple Deke!" or "V formation" like he knew what he was talking about. I just giggled. Hockey is a sport unlike any other-- a game where even the refs wear masks, where opponents throwing punches and ripping off each others' shirts is expected, while tripping is most definitely frowned upon and earns the guilty party a two minute penalty. This is the game where fans yell "fight! fight! fight!" when the players start throwing punches and when our team scores a goal, fans will sing in unison something they all (excepting us) apparently know, "1,2,3,4, he shoots, he scores, goalie, you suck!" (What a pleasant, high class cheer). And fights are replayed on the big screen in all their glory, and are something of pride to the players, who enjoy watching their 10 foot tall selves wallop on each other.

If only our appearance on the Jumbotron could have instilled as much pride.