The Funniest Thing Aubrey has Done, To Date

I found Aubrey surriptiously writing a stack of letters one Sunday a couple weeks ago. She loves writing letters to various cousins, aunts, grandparents, etc., so at first I thought nothing of it. But curious about her stealth and secrecy about writing them, I decided to investigate. Upon looking closer, though, I knew I had to confiscate them. I had a chat with Aubrey about the inappropriate nature of her letters. "We don't do that," I had to tell her.

Later, in the privacy of my room, Chad and I read and reread these letters, and laughed til we cried.

I now post them on my blog, because, I think they will give you a laugh. I scanned them and in case you can't read them, I typed out the letter below.

To the 2-yr. old cousin:

"Dear Jessie, I love you SO much! Will you send me a doggy necklace for Christmas? Thanks. love, Aubby Dear Linds, Tell me about the reading program. love, Aubby-doo"

To another 2-yr. old cousin:

"Dear Evie, I would like a blue notebook that has a spiral binding for Christmas. love xoxo, Aubs"

Another younger cousin:

"Dear Heidi, Please send me the following book: The Deep, Dark, and Dangerous. Love, Aubs" (also included a hand drawn picture of Ariel.)

To a Grandma:

"Dear Grandma, I would like Marie Grace the American Girl doll for Christmas and a maid dress too. Love, Aubby. P.s. Don't forget to tell grandpa I am still his little gift from heaven."

To her aunt Ashley, my youngest sister. This one is my favorite...




"Dear Aunt Ashley, Please send me the inclosing for Christmas. Sour Patch Kids and the skateboard American Girl outfit. If you can't, just send a check. xoxoxoxoXO! Love, Subs Bum P.s. we are getting a dog named Jet P.p.s. I have bangs"

I think the "A" in Aubrey stands for audacity.

To her credit, it is obvious to me, at least, that they were written very lovingly, including special names for herself and inside jokes understood by each recipient. (Where she got Subs Bum is anybody's guess, though). Also, the requests are made on her perceived level of the recipient's ability to fulfill her wishes. The two year olds, she gave them something easy, nothing too expensive, since two year olds generally don't have much cash on hand, and she used vernacular they could understand, ie, "doggy" necklace. She has in the past been drawing pen pals with cousin Heidi, so she included Ariel in the one for her. But she didn't even say, "For Christmas" on that one. Just direct and to the point: "This is what I want, and this is what you can give me". The one for her grandma, apparently, she has the idea that her grandma has some serious cash to spend on her. But reminded them both sweetly she's still their gift from heaven, so, you know, worth the money spent. I think the one for her Aunt Ashley is the funniest, partly because, she says, "the inclosing" and also because she says, "If you can't just send a check."!!!! That part cracks me up. Where did she learn that??? That's the one I read and read and cried I was laughing so hard. And also, we're not getting a dog. Somewhere along the line she must have misunderstood a conversation we had.

I think the best part is, The letters were written so innocently, and at the same time, not. It had not ever entered her mind that these family members might not be giving her a gift at all. She was just trying to give her loved ones ideas on what they could give her. No need to wonder or just not know what she wanted. She was going to spell it right out for you.

The following Monday, our FHE was on "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

I am still laughing out loud and this happened a couple weeks ago. It's just that they are ALL. SO. FUNNY!

p.s. Don't mention this post to Aubrey. She would be embarrassed if she knew I was posting her christmas faux pas. (and then again maybe not... since she didn't get to send them...)