There is a Bird in My House!

Andrew is a budding reader and one of the stories we like to read is a funny one called "There is a Bird on Your Head!" chronicling an elephant who finds there is a bird on his head.  The bird makes a nest, gets married, and hatches three baby birds, all on the poor unsuspecting elephant's head.  We laugh at this story because all throughout, the elephant is shocked and makes statements like, "THERE IS A BIRD ON MY HEAD?!?" and "I don't want a bird on my head!"  We read it and think, "silly elephant, how'd a bird get on his head?  how did he let one get there in the first place?"  Mostly, we laugh AT the elephant and the predicament he finds himself in.   

Recently,  I had an experience which has caused me to look at this elephant with much more sympathy than I previously had.  This story I would like to call, "There is a Bird In My House!" It goes like this...

Aubrey, Andrew and I had just gotten back from a trip to San Antonio visiting an aunt and cousin.  Chad hadn't come with us because he was on a school trip to Boston (and freezing his can off, but that's another story).  It was late at night and I was looking forward to putting the kids to bed and having a bit of quiet time before I retired too.  Without my husband around, it fell upon me to empty the van of its contents after our road trip.  This is an uncoveted position.  After about my third trip inside the house from the garage, Aubrey called to me, "a bird just flew into our house!!!"  I looked at her, dubiously.  This could be a ploy to avoid helping bring in bags, or extend her bedtime.  "Really?" I asked her, disbelieving.  "Really! It just flew in just a second ago!"  She was insistent, and looked kind of scared.  I crept back into the house, a little bit scared myself now.  After peeking in rooms, and not seeing anything, I was about to go back out to the car and call Aubrey out.  Until I walked past the laundry room on the way to the garage and saw something small and brown flapping around in there.  "AGGGHHHHHHHHH!"  is the best approximation of what came out of my mouth at that time.

My "AGGGHHHHHHHH!" should have been held in because it scared the children.  Who then did not want to go to bed or leave my sight or unglue themselves to my hip.  Aubrey was terrified and hid in the closet and begged me to go ask our neighbor Brian to get it out.  I giggled nervously... what did I know about trapping a live bird and setting it free where it belonged, in the wild.  Pretty much nothing.  I paced back and forth and wrung my hands for a bit before I decided I had nothing to lose and went over and knocked on their door.  It was late at night and they were in their pj's but Brian and his wife Kayla mercifully came over to help me.  Brian got a blanket and we opened every door and began Bird Catching 101.  Mostly it involved me screaming, and Brian trying to throw a blanket over the tiny, fast bird while the kids freaked out.  Kayla held Andrew most of the time, and Aubrey nervously, near tears, yelled out scriptures she'd looked up on courage and faith while secluding herself in the closet.

I think we might have chased the bird around every room in the house.  It was too small and too fast and probably too scared to see reason and fly out any of the open doors. Plus, let's be honest, birds are not known for their large brains and logical abilities.   Be that as it may, at one point the bird had stealthily disappeared.  We thought optimistically that maybe it HAD flown out the door.  I had my doubts because in between screaming as the bird would swoop toward me, I had my eyes glued to the door to be certain I would see whenever it decided to be home free.  And I hadn't seen it go.  But, it really was late and I felt bad keeping Brian and Kayla over here on a ridiculous errand, so I sent them home.  They told me to come back over if I found it again and they would help again.  At this point I decided it would be best to try to get the kids to bed.  I extricated Aubrey from the closet and Andrew from my leg and we went upstairs.  They wanted to sleep in the same room and they wanted me to stay there until they fell asleep.  We chose Aubrey's room because the door was closed when we got home so there was no way the bird would have been in there.  Andrew fell asleep very quickly, but Aubrey took longer and at one point, I decided to go get my phone charger because I was madly texting Chad things like, "there is a bird in the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Why aren't you here???" and "What do I do?????????? and my phone hadn't been fully charged in the first place.  When I got about to the doorway of my room, it was like deja vu... something small and brown and flappy swooped up. "AGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

I guess the upside of the situation was that we knew now exactly where the bird was, the downside was that that place was unfortunately, not outside.  I shut the door.  It was now trapped.  I went to the Cooks, and their house was dark and no one answered when I knocked.  I was keeping Chad apprised and he texted me, "Carl is coming over." Carl is our friend and home teacher and he lives right down the road.  I was in my pjs, I was exhausted from the long day, the drive, and Bird Chasing 101, but I was so glad when he came over.  I greeted him with, "Want a pet bird?"  And led him to where the action was.

Now, let me again mention, I had just gotten home when the bird flew in my house.  I hadn't been up to my room since before I left on my trip some 5 days before.  I had no idea what it looked like.  I didn't know and didn't remember if there were dirty clothes on the floor, or if there was a supportive undergarment hanging on a doorknob or something else embarrassing.  I did know the bed was made.  I did have that going for me.  And yet I was sending a man into my room to catch a bird.  He is about our same age and it felt very weird to be allowing him in my house, let alone my room, late at night with Chad out of town.  I guess at some point I swallowed my pride, because I let him squeeze through the door I had opened a crack, not enough for the bird to get out, but enough for him to get in, wished him luck, and shut the door behind him so he was alone in there with the bird.  I waited outside the room, listening very intently for sounds of bird catching.  After about 20 minutes of listening to scuffling and our friend Carl saying things like, "ohhhh! You dirty dog!" to the bird when he missed it by what he told me later, was inches, I decided to peek in.  I summoned my courage and asked if it might be a two person job.  I didn't really want him to say yes.  But I stayed in anyway.  So, then it was me, and Carl, in my room late at night with the door closed.  Not awkward at all.  (Not awkward in opposite world, but very awkward in my world.)  At one point, Carl went under my bed and I cringed at what he might see, or what he already had seen.  Even if it was just dust, I was embarrassed.   I told him where the bird flew and he would chase it.  With two people, in a confined space, it didn't take long before Carl caught the bird with his bare hands.  He released it into the wild and went home.  I eventually was able to go to sleep in my bed where the bird had been flying around just shortly before.  In the ensuing days, even though I knew the bird was gone, I would still duck and cover when a shadow would pass over the lights or windows.  It still felt like a bird might fly out at any time.

So, while I used to laugh at the little elephant protagonist in the children's story, I now look at the story with new eyes.  I know the anguish he felt when he came up close and personal with an unwanted bird.  I understand when he is shocked and wants the bird to leave.  And I know the relief he felt when the bird finally leaves his head.  I'm just instead of, "There is a Bird in My House!"  I can say, "There WAS a Bird in My House!"  I am so glad it is gone.